untitled

no one understands
no one understands
the ongoing war within me
a battle being fought
day & night
a feeble and yet relentless attempt
to put an end to the chaos
in my mind
in my gut
in the intangible wisps
of my soul
the soul that is slowly depleting
with every exhale
with every successive beat of a seemingly healthy heart
explain to me then why it hurts to breathe
there you stand, arm stretched out
reaching in, splaying ribs
fist clenched, trying to help
squeezing
suppressing
stopping the flow of my tainted blood
to my aching and blackened heart
i scream.
but you don’t hear me.
i’m already dead on the inside.
i scream.
it echoes in the distant valleys of my abandoned mind
i’m dead on the inside.
i scream.
this time the tears flow, the arms flail,
the knife cuts, the blood splatters
remind me why i need to do this.
i smile.
to escape.
you scream.
all smiles fade
let me go.
it’s ok.
it’ll be… fast.
you won’t remember.
you stare.
through me.
at me.
in me.
there is nothing
i am
gone.
empty

i scream.
you’re no longer here
i’m dead on the inside.



it’s quiet.


still.



i scream.i want to die.